Perspective

This year has been one of the best and the hardest of my life. There have been so many days that I just wanted to throw my hands up in the arm... but with each of those days there have been lessons learned. Some of those lessons were more easily seen and learned than other. Some I am still trying to figure out and learn from them.

 For weeks, months, I have been dealing with consistent exhaustion, an unusually upset stomach, changing sleeping patterns, moments of trying to grasp my thoughts or words, and even some crazy moments of blacking out. Honestly, I chalked it all up to stress. But there was more to it than that. A few weeks ago, I went in for a biopsy and another procedure. My doctor found 4 tumors. The results of the biopsy was that they were moderate, borderline severe. Thankfully, they caught them at the precancerous stage! But my doctor advised immediate, invasive treatment to remove the tumors before they cross over into the severe stage. Today will be my first treatment and I have so many thoughts and prayers going through my head.  I don't know how many times I've read this verse but "with thanksgiving" is what has recently stuck out to me. This time has held some serious lessons in faith and trust in God's provision and healing. How many times have I taken my anxiety to Him but not thanked Him ahead of time for what He is going to do with this situation? He will provide. So thank Him now. He will heal. So thank Him now. He will restore. So thank Him now.

So what am I praying for and thankful for?

I am praying for an effective treatment and that my doctor will be able to remove them in as few treatments as possible.
I am praying that my body will accept the treatments well.
I am praying for patience and endurance. For me, for JP, for ARG... all of us! With this I have been very limited in being able to pick up ARG or carry her. This is definitely something that I will NEVER take for granted again.

I am thankful for a job that is flexible and understanding. I am able to work from home when I can so that I am not completely missing out on work(which means hours and income).
I am thankful that after several weeks of JP being out of work that he has started a new job that he seems to love.
I am thankful that he is getting a LOT of overtime hours which will help tremendously in helping us catch up on bills.
I am thankful for a few close friends who are always checking on me and willing to help.
I am thankful for family. Heather came to visit for AR's first birthday and she worked for hours to put up 14 freezer meals for us(plus several for mom). JP's mom is staying in town for my first treatment and to take care of AR for the first few days afterwards.
I am thankful for early detection.
I am thankful for a Father who is a God of grace, mercy, healing and restoration.